Driving Down the Road....

Living in the Deep South, there are two things that one can be assured of. In the summer, being bombarded with gnats in the day and mosquitoes (skeeters as we call them) at night. Strangely, we actually like the gnats as they keep Yankees away. Here is a perfect scenario:

Once, will driving down the road headed approximately nowhere in particular as is the case of many who drive in the Deep South, I chanced upon someone trying to change a tire. Changing a tire in the summer in the South is, well, interesting. Imagine doing aerobic exercise in a sauna wearing a full length fur coat. Under the direction of a Marine Drill Instructor. Who just got divorced. Again. And lost everything. Again. Get the point? Good. Back to the story.

The tag on the back of the car said New Jersey or something New – I knew it was not New Mexico because they deal with similar heat. This person was fighting the tire as much as the gnats. At one point, he began swinging the tire iron violently at the gnats in the vain hope of chasing them away.

If you are not sure what a gnat is, here is a primer. It is a small fly that likes sweat and rapid body movement. They also like ears, eyes and nasal passages. Get the point? Good.

So, eventually, I offered help. (After I stopped laughing). I got out of the truck and put on my bughat. The yankee, in a sudden epiphany, asked if the hat worked on bees and mosquitos. I told him it did, and gave him the website.

After I got the tire on and got him on his way, I realized the error of my ways. If he buys a bughat, more Yankees may come south and move in ... the horror... the horror...